In 30 days I start my very first contest prep! and in 31 days I turn thirty. (well that was the count when I first started to draft this a few days ago)
I’ve been looking forward to starting this process for almost a year. Now that the moment is almost upon me I’m a mess of feelings and emotions!
oh the unknown, you are so exciting and scary!
I’m not going to lie, I’ve been slacking off a bit lately. Not in the sense that I’ve thrown all caution to the wind at started eating McDonalds. But over the last two weeks I’ve allowed myself a square of dark chocolate here, an extra Paleo muffin there. I guess I’m being a little bit liberal with myself knowing that I am entering some strict times, so why not allow myself some guilt free treats now for long term prep success. I’ve also missed a few workouts because of work scheduling (something I normally do not allow to happen, but it’s either let the workout slide or run myself into the ground and prefer the first option). This is my tricky time of year. The husband and I run his family business and it’s go, go, go, 7 days a week until the end of June when our new part time staff is trained, out of school and able to take lots of the pressure off us. Conveniently that is also when my competition prep starts.
Other than that I’m just starting to be in disbelief that this is happening. Within the same day I’m excited and also afraid that I’m totally off my rocker for wanting to do this. It’s no surprise to all my fellow bloggers that I haven’t been blogging lately (hubby reminded me it’s been 8 days this morning). Part of this is due to my chaotic work life at the moment and part of it is due to the fact that I have been going to bed at 10 – 10:30 instead of forcing myself to stay awake until 12:00am every night.
If you want to know what’s been going on in my brain, here is a sample of my current inner dialogue:
- will I be muscular enough? You may not be the most musclar, but you are the strongest you have ever been and you will work your ass off during prep to make sure you are your best body.
- am I organized enough? It could be rough around the edges, but when it comes down to it you know you always get shit done.
- will I be intolerably cranky from strict dieting? Will my husband want to take the ring back? He loves you and will do anything to support you, that’s why you married him.
- can I really stand confidently on a stage in front of a group of people in a skimpy outfit? Fake it till you make it sister!
- will competing give me crazy unhealthy body image issues? You will stay grounded. You know that a competition body is just that, a competition body. What you have right now is fabulous and after prep when you regain weight you will be new and improved.
and last but not least, before all of this prep business starts. To I treat my almost 30 year old self with Birthday Cake??? Hrmmmm.